Show me your ways, Lord

Show me your ways, Lord, teach me your paths. Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.(Psalm 25:4-5)                   

When we wait on God it shows a spirit of trust and humility, of loving obedience, of hope and confidence, of a most intimate friendship and of the deepest reverence for our Creator. 

Waiting on God was one of the reasons David was called “a man after God’s own heart”. God was his security and he trusted Him in every aspect of his life. He trusted Him for guidance and instruction (v. 5), for help and defense (Psalm 33:20), for victory over his enemies and vindication (Psalm 37:7-9), for deliverance from trouble and destruction (Psalm 40:1), and so much more.    

Nothing proves our faith like waiting on God for answers to prayer, because when we wait we are demonstrating our submission to Him. 

Waiting does not necessarily mean abstaining from all activity; it is obedience to God because He has the right plan for us. Waiting on God means that all of our life is brought under God’s authority and direction. If we run ahead of God, we will experience anxiety, exhaustion, and failure. When we take matters in our own hands there can be some irreparable consequences and there are many examples in the Bible like Abraham and Sarah getting ahead of God and Saul’s usurping the role of a priest. 

The Word says, “Be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10). So what do we learn while we are waiting? We learn to trust in God in expectation of His revelation because God is in charge of every detail of our life. His timing is perfect if we really want Him to show and teach us His ways. He is omniscient, and gives us confirmation of His omnipresence through the indwelling of the Holy Spirit who guides us and teaches us if we let Him. 

God gives us assurances of His real power and He gives the grace to await His purposes until the precise moment when He gives evidence that He was working all along. Without this faith, it is impossible to please Him, for all who come to God must believe that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him. (Hebrews 11:6) 

The answer to waiting is through prayer, with strength and courage (Psalm 27:14). And we rejoice and trust in His Holy Name and in His unfailing love (Psalm 33:18-24).  

Our greatest desire should be to learn to be patient and obedient, desiring to know God’s truth. We need to expectantly and faithfully believe His promise and know that if we ask and expect with the right motive we will receive. 

The Lord declared: “For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.” (Jeremiah 29:11-12) 

And Isaiah 40:31 tells us: “They who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” 

Waiting is not easy but, if we can learn to wait on God we will live a more rewarding and stress free life. Having patience and trusting in the Lord is one of the greatest life principles we can ever learn.  

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF

At times, it can be hard for you to believe in yourself, especially if you have developed negative feelings, like you have nothing to offer or are unworthy of things, only until you realize that the contrary can be true. If you are having trouble introspecting and seeing all the amazing things you possess and all the beautiful things you could offer to make this world a better place, there are simple things that you can do to start believing in yourself. You can take stock of all the things you have already accomplished and set goals for future, you can make new friends, have good discussions, get fresh perspective of things, look for opportunities to use your skills, you can take good care of yourself to build your confidence 

1 Make a list of your past accomplishments. Writing out a list of your accomplishments will help you begin to believe in yourself. Sit down and make a list of all of the things that you feel you have excelled at during some point in your life. Include even the most minor activities, like putting together furniture from IKEA or organizing a party for a friend or family member.

• After you’ve compiled a short list, try to find patterns in the activities. Identify what you have done well over and over again to understand your skills.
• As you identify the skills that helped you accomplish things, begin to list those skills in a separate column. You can also make a list of stuff that you admire about yourself in a third column.^[1]
• For example, if you notice that you’ve been successful at caring for dogs or cats, this could mean that you are naturally a compassionate person. In which case, try to find more activities that will help you to use this skill--such as volunteering at a local animal shelter.

 2 Talk to people who love you. If you're having trouble seeing all the wonderful things about yourself, you can always talk to someone who loves you. Sometimes we have difficulty seeing the best things about ourselves, but the people who love us will never struggle to see those things.

• Say something like, “Lately I have felt like I am not good at anything, but I am trying to move past that and identify my skills. What do you 2think I am good at?”

3 Find a cause that you believe in. It may be difficult to believe in yourself if you are always trying to please others. Make sure that you look for causes and projects that appeal to you and that you actually believe in. The passion that you feel for these causes and projects will help you to work harder and see how much you can achieve.

4 Set realistic goals. Setting realistic goals will help you to believe in yourself and your ability to accomplish things. Make sure that you develop goals that are in line with your skills and that are attainable. For example, if you have decided that you want to work towards a long-term goal of becoming a veterinary assistant because of your animal handling skills, start by setting a small attainable goal of applying to a veterinary assistant program. Once you accomplish that goal, you can move on to another small, attainable goal that helps to get you closer to your long-term goal.^[2]

• Be prepared to go outside of your comfort zone now and then. Even though you are setting realistic goals, you might need to do things that you don’t normally do to accomplish your goals.
• After you set a goal, work hard until you achieve it. Don’t abandon a goal because it becomes too difficult. If a goal seems too difficult, try breaking it into a series of smaller goals and focus on one at a time.

6 Reflect at the end of each day. Self-reflection is an important component of self-improvement. It helps you to take stock of what you are doing well and what you still need to work on. Take a few moments at the end of each day to reflect on your experiences. If you have a day where you don’t accomplish as much as you hoped you would try to learn what you can from the situation to avoid repeating any mistakes you might have made.^[3]

• For example, if you can’t seem to get yourself up in the morning to go on a hike as planned, you may have learned that you have trouble getting motivated in the morning. Try setting multiple alarms, and maybe even place one of them a few feet away from your bed, so you have to get up and turn it off. Or, you could try to find a different time to hike, instead of forcing yourself to do it in the morning

I have a choice about today

I woke up early today, excited over all I get to do before the clock strikes midnight. I have responsibilities to fulfill today and I am important. My job is to choose what kind of day I am going to have.

Today I can complain because the weather is rainy or I can be thankful that the grass is getting watered for free.

Today I can feel sad that I don't have more money or I can be glad that my finances encourage me to plan my purchases wisely and guide me away from waste.

Today I can grumble about my health or I can rejoice that I am alive.

Today I can lament over all that my parents didn't give me when I was growing up or I can feel grateful that they allowed me to be born.

Today I can cry because roses have thorns or I can celebrate that thorns have roses.

Today I can mourn my lack of friends or I can excitedly embark upon a quest to discover new relationships.

Today I can whine because I have to go to work or I can shout for joy because I have a job to do.

Today I can complain because I have to go to school oreagerly open my mind and fill it with rich new tidbits of knowledge.

Today I can murmur dejectedly because I have to do housework or I can appreciate that I have a place to call home.

Today stretches ahead of me, waiting to be shaped. And here I am, the sculptor who gets to do the shaping.

What today will be like is up to me. I get to choose what kind of day I will have!

Have a GREAT DAY ... unless you have other plans and please remember, a 'Smile' will make the days go better.

HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE – OUR CHOICE !

First of all, we need to understand that Happiness is a choice, our choice.

Yes, Happiness is a choice, we have got the choice on how we want to live our life.

It doesn’t really matter the circumstances in our life, we have still got the choice to live an unhappy life, at the mercy of our emotions, events etc., which could be quite miserable sometimes, or we can choose to live a happy life, be a happy person, whatever the circumstances are, the choice is ours.

Happiness is a kind of choice that we make and create for ourselves. It is not something that depends on other people or getting their approval.

In reality, the level of our life’s happiness has nothing to do with the things that other people say or do, even if we feel like it.

Happiness is not something that we capture through the affirmation or actions of others. We can be inspired by others, but Happiness comes from within.

I am in charge of how I feel, today I choose Happiness

I am in charge of how I feel, today I choose Happiness

Nothing will make us Happy until we choose to be Happy!

Can we really make up our mind to be happy?

The answer is YES.

The empowered happiness mindset is set on the principle that despite the things that happen to us or whatever dire circumstances we might be in today, we can still be happy.

At the end of the day, it’s all about making a decision, the right one, if we don’t choose to be a happy person, it’s like indirectly we have made a decision to be a person that doesn’t give importance to happiness, therefore, the moments of happiness might not be many…

As we will see in the next step Happiness is also an attitude of mind and we have got the choice to have a wrong attitude that takes us to having a not easy and unpleasant life or we can make the decision to have a good attitude through life. A good attitude can create happiness, I let you think what a bad attitude can create… Once again the choice is ours.

We can start to be happy any moment we want, all we need to do is make a decision, choose to be happy, write it down on paper in capitals: “I decide I want to be happy”, “from now on I am going to be happy person, no matter what”.

It has to be a clear and conscious decision and nothing like “I would like to be happy or I wish to be happy” these are just wishes…. and they are not taking us anywhere.

Once we have made the decision to be a happy person, then we need to do whatever it takes to be happy. Happiness is a journey.

It’s a bit like when we start a fire, if we don’t fan the fire, the fire at one point will die. So once we have turned our happiness on, which I like to think of as a candle, we need to keep it on, otherwise, it will die, this is something we will see in the next few steps.

The good thing is the:

Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared. Buddha

So if we make a decision to live a happy life, no matter what life can present to us, is more likely we will have a happy life, because this is what we want and because we don’t want to accept anything else. It is our choice, we have made a decision and we want to stick to it.

Once we have understood and accepted that happiness comes from within, it is not impossible to be happy even during the toughest of times because we already know how we should hold on to those good times and chase all the bad away.

With an empowered happiness mindset, we will know how we should let life to happen and stay open to wallowing in the bliss of happiness whatever our circumstances might be.

It is never too late to make happiness your choice of life

Happiness is a choice

One of the first thing we need to understand and accept if we want to live a happy life, is that Happiness is a choice. Let that sink in.

A lot of people find this notion hard to believe simply because they have gone through so many challenges in their lives that they most probably have been close to giving up on happiness altogether and probably because they give a wrong meaning to happiness. (What Happiness is Not)

Whatever you went through in your life, you need to remember, that it is never too late to make happiness your choice.

Making the choice

Starting down the path of attaining happiness is done by simply telling yourself that happiness is a choice you are willing to make and commit to. Arguably, making this choice is the biggest and most important step that you can take to being happy. Studies show that a person can greatly affect their perspective in life by changing their attitudes and mindsets about things.

The act of making the choice is done by looking deep into yourself: realize and appreciate the little things that make you feel peace and, at the same time, clearly define to yourself those that do not. (Things we need to let go to be happy)

Happiness is a state of being

A lot of people tend to make a list of things they would like to achieve (end goals, if you may). While the practice in itself is not bad, it may affect the way you think about the practice altogether.

Sometimes, making a list gives the impression that, unless you have reached these goals, you are not allowing yourself to be happy.

Instead, reflect on your life and ask yourself this question: What are the things that make me smile these days?

No matter how small they may be, give yourself a little time each morning and appreciate these things. Remember: a key contributing factor to being happy is having a positive attitude towards your day the moment you wake up.

Happiness is a choice – so is sadness

A lot of people lose sight of their happiness because of the tension the daily grind brings. Money, work, relationships, even traffic can be cause for you to feel down. A single instance of such may not be that hard, but constantly and consistently exposing yourself to these is an act on itself of choosing sadness.

Being busy is nice. Being overly busy is a bad thing. Why not go for a vacation or a break? Giving yourself some time to breathe and reflect will do you a lot of good.

Keep your friends and family close

Another great example of attaining and maintaining happiness is by expressing your gratitude. Happiness is near impossible if you are selfish about it.

There are a lot of people out there in the world who have riches and fame to their name but have no happiness to claim at all. Always be thankful for the people around you. Better yet, thank them and tell them how exactly they have been a contributor to your happiness.

Not only does this affirm the validity of your happiness with yourself, this also makes the people around you happy.

A study on happiness conducted by Dr. Robert Waldinger has suggested that maintaining good relationships is, at the very least, a major contributor to a person’s happiness. The study was conducted by periodically interviewing their participants about their life over the course of 75 years. It was shown that happiness is rooted to how much we invest on the people we consider as essential to our being, as well as those who invest in ourselves.

In hindsight, this gives a deeper meaning to the phrase “no man is an island”.

Hard work pays off

Nothing good in life comes easy — happiness is no exception.

Happiness is a choice you have to commit to. Difficult choices must be made at certain points in your life if you wish to maintain it. Are you in an abusive relationship? You might want to part ways for the benefit of your soul. Do you feel like there is nothing else for you at work? Maybe it is time to reconsider.

It is always best for you to move on and take on challenges than to let fear grip your heart that sit and wallow in complacency.

Take it slow

Happiness is a choice you decide on in a fraction of a second. Working on it takes an entire lifetime.

Take it slow; stop and smell the roses along the way. Try not to rush yourself into getting to your definition of happiness. Mistakes may happen along the way and that is fine! That is life’s way of teaching you a lesson about your choice. These moments are best spent slowly, thinking and understanding why life treated you that way.

Stay in control… or not

In many cases, people fall into a state of anxiousness because of their constant need to stay in control. Now, a lot of people are not aware of this.

The next time you are feeling anxious about something, why don’t you ask yourself this question: is this something I can control?

If your answer to the question is no, respect the outcome as it is.

If the answer is yes, however, commit to figuring out a way to control it. Examples of things you cannot control are other people’s emotions. Introspectively, you can control yours. Do not set yourself up for failure by always looking into taking control.

In conclusion, happiness is a choice that revolves around how you manage yourself around the environment you are currently in.1 Always be grateful and generous to the people who make you smile. Never try to take control of things beyond your understanding and always take the time to savor and appreciate the little things that brighten up your day.

Life - All About Untying Mental Blocks

A farmer was taking three of his donkeys for sale to the market. On the way he saw a river and decided to have a dip. Since he had only two ropes to tie the donkeys to a tree, he looked around wondering how to tie the third one.

He saw a sage and sought his help if he could give him a rope to tie the third donkey. The sage did not have a rope but had a suggestion. He told the farmer, “let the third donkey see you tying the other two donkeys to a tree. Then you pretend to tie this one also”. The farmer did as he was told and went for a dip in the river._

Coming back, he thanked the sage and saw that the donkeys stood exactly at the same spot where he had left them. He untied the two donkeys and patted the third one to start moving. After going a little distance, imagine his surprise when the third donkey stood still at the same spot. Cajoling, kicking or talking did not help with the donkey, refusing to move from the spot._

The farmer went back to sage, who told him, “untie the third donkey”._

"But”, protested the farmer, “I have not tied him”._

The sage asked, “You know it. But does the donkey know that?”_

Sure enough the farmer went back went through the motions of untying the donkey. The donkey moved immediately as though released and walked over to join the other two donkeys._

*We too are tied up by too many imaginary ropes which are really non-existent. The only truth is there are no boundaries in real life and anyone can stretch to any extent.*

Life - All About Untying Mental Blocks.
🙏😊🙏

 

Which side are you on? 

Which side are you on? - tells us the story of the classic union song that was written in 1931 by Florence Reece. It has been sung by people fighting for their rights all over the world. Florence's husband Sam was a coal miner in Kentucky. Many of the coal mines were owned by big companies, who kept wages low and spent as little money on safety as possible. 

Today, we have similar challenges and a person has to decide on which side he has to be on? One has to determine one’s True Life Values

Before making career and life planning decisions it's important to do some homework and define your own very personal criteria for success. These criteria should be clearly established in your mind and regularly updated based on changing circumstances and lessons learned over time. Otherwise having to make a quick decision on an unexpected promotion, downsizing, career or location change opportunity might send you off in directions you really don't want to go. There are two types of criteria you need to determine for yourself.

The first are personal life value priorities - Determining your most important current values (e.g., money, location, service to others, time with family), rank-ordering them and deciding which you will trade off if faced with a contradiction (e.g., the job you want not being available in the location you want). As we said earlier, many people keep themselves in a state of continual agitation by refusing to make focused value decisions.

The second are personal job-content objectives - Identifying what specific combination of skills or competencies (e.g., intellectual, technical, interpersonal, physical, artistic, mathematical, etc.) you want to develop and exercise in your future on-the-job activities. These objectives become your criteria for judging the content of potential future jobs. If a potential opening involves doing a lot of financial or technical analysis by yourself with no opportunity for interacting with others - and interacting with others is important to you - you will avoid that job even if it is a promotion. You can't assess potential future career paths effectively until you have some standard or criteria for judging whether or not what you find is for you.

The following article will provide an outline about an organized process with proven instruments and tools to help you establish both these sets of criteria. First we'll discuss life values.

Life Values : It's important to know what personal values we want to achieve in life, on and off the job. Then we can make career choices that help us meet the most possible of these values. Making an initial list of our values is usually the easy part. Most of us can come up with a long list. The real challenge - the tough part of determining values - comes in the choices we have to make in setting our priorities, in deciding which values we will give up or trade off when we face inevitable contradictions.

I don't know about you, but I want everything. I don't want any contradictions or forced choices. I want the freedom and flexibility of a single life and all the rewards of a loving spouse and children. I want to live in a small, intimate, low pressure, academic town and have all the challenges, money, and status of a job that may only be available in places like New York or Chicago. I want Santa Claus to come along and let me have it all. And I don't think I'm unusual in this. I think most people, reasonable or not, want just about everything.

If I let myself think about it, however - if I face the unpleasant reality that there are contradictions and I can't have everything - I'll probably discover I do have some preferences. Each of us wants some things more than others. Precisely what we want and in what rank order is distinctively different for each individual. Accepting someone else's -- organization's, peer's, or teacher's -- rank order is not a very adult decision. Accepting someone else's rank order for me is laziness, unwillingness to do my own tough thinking, or excessively conforming behavior.

If I wait for Santa Claus to give me everything, Santa will not come. Someone or something else (e.g. an unexpected opportunity for a location move) will make the trade-offs for me. Both are really non-decision options, and both are dangerous. Letting chance or someone else make the trade-offs for me will rob me of many things I want most and substitute things I don't want nearly as much.

Deciding Our Own Values: We help people start identifying their most important personal values by asking them to prioritize 20 typical career-related life values. We do this by giving them a set of 20 cards each of which defines one of the values. Then we have them practice identifying contradictions and making trade-offs by giving up the cards two at a time until they get down to the top five they would be least willing to trade off. Most find this a tough but enlightening process. Of course, most will achieve more than five of the values, but forcing themselves to focus down on only five introduces a valuable discipline.

The process of looking carefully at your life values and establishing clear priorities may force you to make some conscious tradeoffs you've been avoiding, particularly when you compare what your top value priorities are with the values you are actually spending most of your time pursuing today.

Figure 3 shows 20 typical life values people want to pursue. Some will realize more than others. It's unlikely anyone will realize them all, however, because several are likely to contradict each other. This is not because the establishment or system is plotting mean things. This is simply because that's the way the world is. You can complain that this is not fair, get angry, and refuse to accept the fact that you have to trade off anything. It's easier and much more productive to become your own Santa Claus by making choices, ending the impasse and moving on.

Figure 3. TYPICAL CAREER-RELATED LIFE VALUES

Friendship To work with people I respect and to be respected by them

Location To be able to live where I want to live.

Enjoyment To enjoy my work. To have fun doing it.

Loyalty To be committed to the goals of a group of people who share my beliefs, values and ethical principles.

Family To have time with my family.

Leadership To motivate and energize other people. To feel responsible for identifying and accomplishing needed group tasks.

Personal Development To learn and to do challenging work that will help me grow, that will allow me to utilize my best talents and mature as a human being.

Security To have a steady income that fully meets my family's basic needs.

Wisdom To grow in understanding of myself, my personal calling and life's real purpose. To grow in knowledge and practice my religious beliefs. To discern and do the will of God and find lasting meaning in what I do.

Community To be deeply involved with a group that has a larger purpose beyond one's self. To perform in effective and caring teamwork.

Wealth To earn a great deal of money (i.e., well beyond my family's basic needs). To be financially independent.

Expertness To become a known and respected authority in what I do.

Service To contribute to the well being and satisfaction of others. To help people who need help and improve society.

Personal Accomplishment To achieve significant goals. To be involved in undertakings I believe personally are significant - whether or not they bring me recognition from others.

Prestige To be seen by others as successful. To become well known. To obtain recognition and status in my chosen field.

Power To have the authority to approve or disapprove proposed courses of action. To make assignments and control allocation of people and resources.

Independence To have freedom of thought and action. To be able to act in terms of my own time schedules and priorities.

Integrity To live and work in compliance with my personal moral standards. To be honest and acknowledge/stand up for my personal beliefs.

Health To be physically and mentally fit.

Creativity To be innovative. To create new and better ways of doing things.

?? Add value definitions of your choice

 

Parents, Mentors, Organizations, and Others

When people prioritize their life values we suggest they sort out any voices they might carry in their heads from other people telling them what they should value. There are four categories of voices each of us should particularly monitor. These are the voices of our parents, mentors, organizations, and others.

Many values come from our parents. Most are probably very worthwhile. We share and want to retain them. It's important to look at values transmitted from our parents. However, we must make certain we are not unduly influenced by those we may not share. We might be putting an inflated emphasis on wealth as the answer to all our problems, for instance, if our parents faced economic deprivations we don't face, and more money had an urgency for them it needn't have for us (or if our parents were very wealthy and prized that). Wanting something different from our parents doesn't mean they were wrong. It just means we're different and probably living in different circumstances.

Most professionals have one or more significant mentors during their 20's and 30's. Mentors are usually people 8 to 15 years older than we are - teachers, bosses, or experienced co-workers who take us under their wings and teach us the tricks of the trade in our occupational specialties. They help us establish ourselves as members of our trades or professions. A mentor serves in a role similar to that of master in the old master-apprentice system.

To become masters themselves, however, apprentices must finally break from masters, become their own persons, and steer their own courses. This often happens when people are between the ages of 35-40 and realize they have been too subject to influence by those who have authority over them. They then stand on their mentor's shoulders, build in new directions from that firm foundation, and extend their capabilities beyond their mentor's.

Identify and think about your mentors. Sort out what they have said you should and should not value. Decide where you do and do not agree today. You may still be associated with a mentor or you may be carrying some strong value messages from mentors you haven't worked with for years. If so, assess them and pursue only those you still agree with.

Many companies are attempting to better align individual employee behavior with the organization's vision and mission. They often do this by communicating various organization values employees are expected to acknowledge and commit themselves to. This is basically a good trend. If you know what you organization's values are you can better understand what's expected of you. And you can better decide if your personal values are compatible. This doesn't have to be an all or nothing decision. It's better to look at each specific organizational value, articulated or implied, and decide whether or not it conflicts with what is important to you. You will probably find it's easy to agree with the majority (e.g., quality or customer service). There may be some, however, like "working whatever after hours or weekend time it takes to get the job done" in a significantly downsized and overloaded operation - or "always exceeding the previous quarter's sales figures" - that you need to put into better perspective or even resist.

Another potential contaminating influence on our choice of values can often be found in relationships with our 'others' - in our own competitive instincts and need to be one-up on our friends, siblings, or peers. Their values are probably and legitimately very different from mine. They may be paying a high price in some dimension (e.g., time with family) that is more important than power or money to me. Both of us may be sacrificing important values in a race neither even wants to be in. What a way to waste time and lose spirit.

Where does it end? It ends when I call a halt for me. The others must determine how it will end for them. Think about who your others are. What price might you be paying for the competition? Do you really want to race? If not, plan what you will do differently in the future to avoid these useless competitions.

Staying anchored in life values that bring personal meaning to you

If you don't know who you are you will probably become for other people (e.g., superiors, peers or society) what they need or want you to be. There will be no self. Doing what others expect (including suggested career or location moves) may bring high recognition and material rewards, but if there is no self in your decisions there will probably be little true meaning. You life will drift away from you unanchored and in directions you don't really want to go.

Even when we believe our life values reflect our own inner preferences it's important to test this assumption regularly. Life values are frequently influenced - often unconsciously - by our evolving life environments (e.g., faddish cultural, peer or organizational norms). It's important to identify these influences periodically, make certain they are conscious and test how they are supporting or impairing pursuit of our important life and spiritual goals.

We need to know and stay anchored in who we are, in what we personally value and stand for. Our actions probably won't always reflect our deepest beliefs. There will be gaps between our values and our behaviors. Filling those gaps is a constant struggle for everyone. If we don't notice the gaps - if we don't strive continually to fill the gaps by better matching our values and behaviors - chances are we will find sparse meaning in what we do no matter how great the external rewards.

Brief reflection : 

The following brief reflection will help you make a quick assessment of what your value priorities are today. Later, you can take a more in depth look when you do the exercises in the workbook. Before you do the meditation sit quietly a moment and get in touch with your own thought process. Monitor any voices you carry around in your head from other people (e.g., society, the media, peers, former teachers, your organization) telling you what it is popular to value. Put them aside and get in touch with what you want. Listen to your inner voice. Hear what it tells you about what values you really want and need to pursue if you are to put more meaning in your life and career for both yourself and your family. 

Brief Reflection

Look at the twenty Life Values in the table above. Then take an erasable pencil and make a few notes following the instructions below. Don't take a lot of time to do this. Just record what comes to your mind quickly. See what initial response comes to mind first. (You can do a much more thorough Life Values exercise later, when you complete the workbook.)

Bottom 3 : List your bottom 3 values (i.e., those you would be most willing to give up)

Top 3 : List your top 3 (i.e., those you would be least willing to give up)

Least Important Value : Review your bottom 3 values and circle the "B" after the single value you would be most willing to give up (i.e., the value that has the lowest priority for you personally)

Most Important Value : Review your top 3 values and circle the "T" after the single value you would be least willing to give up (i.e., the value that has top priority for you personally)

Compare your top values with those you spend most time pursuing today.

When you compare your value priorities with what values are actually taking your time these days, are there any discrepancies or gaps? You are very unusual, or untruthful, if you see no discrepancies. Are there a few imbalances that have, for all practical purposes, become unacknowledged false gods that are leading you off course? If so, what will you do about that?

It's up to each of us to make our own tough values choices. Recognizing this can be scary for even the bravest of us. But there is good news to go with that. We can empower ourselves and get back on course. The hardest part is tracking the many times we drift off course, admitting what's happening, and taking corrective action.

This article is not attempting to complete list of all values. You've probably already learned much of what you need to know about those from a long list of spiritual writers and leaders who are much wiser than we. What we show in Figure 3 is merely a list of fairly typical day-to-day value concerns (only some of which involve moral principles in themselves) that most of us need to track and assess continually throughout our life journeys.

Principle-based decisions vs. evasive value clarifications: When we prioritize our life values it is important, however, that we make what Stephen Covey and many of our modern behavioral experts call principle-based value decisions. That requires a lot more than the typically evasive value clarification exercises that are so popular in today's value avoiding society.

Unfortunately, many contemporary values clarification exercises tend to foster not tough decision making, but a currently popular form of easy-out escapism. They provide a way to pretend we are making meaningful choices while avoiding any hard decisions. They give us a tool to play what Peter Kreeft describes as "moral ping pong." He tells us that questions addressed by facilitators in many modern values clarification exercises are:

…never about the roots or grounds of values, about principles. Instead, they are about feelings and reasoning, calculations.

They never ask questions about virtues and vices, about character, but ask only about what you would do or rather what you would 'feel comfortable' doing.

The one moral absolute in (typical) values clarification is that there are no moral absolutes, and the only thing forbidden is for the facilitator to suggest that...there is objective truth in the realm of values, for that would mean some of the students are wrong, and that would be 'judgmental', the only sin. In fact the very procedure itself teaches a nearly irresistible lesson: values are all up for grabs, are matters of individual or social taste; no one has the right to teach another here; values are "my" values or "your" values", never simply true values; values, in short, are not facts but feelings.1

This approach to deciding and living our values is obviously ridiculous - at least when someone like Kreeft takes an objective look and tells it like it is in non-evasive language. If you are like me somewhere deep down you have always known it was ridiculous. But if you're like me you've also not always been as courageous as Kreeft in owing up to it - or expressing it.

While we do have to choose our own values, we shouldn't do that in a moral vacuum. Clearly there are some objective moral principles we have to consider. I don't believe values, especially moral and spiritual values, are all relative. But I haven't always been willing to be clear about - and consistently practice - what I really do believe. That kind of behavior might challenge people. In much of modern society it's not considered politically correct and I don't want to be unpopular. I want to be sophisticated, urbane, and well liked even by people I know are behaving in direct contradiction to what I believe - even when they are subtly pressuring me to behave the same way. What a way to waste a life! I don't have to get on a soapbox and convert the world. However, I do have to be certain I at least really know where I stand and that my behavior and language are always consistent with that.

If we have a difference in values, I have to make certain my behaviors are not slipping into compliance with my audience's rather than my own moral beliefs. I don't have to berate or lecture everyone I disagree with. That would often be a waste of time anyway. However, I do have to make certain that my actions (i.e., everything I do) are consistent with what I really want (i.e., personal morality, integrity and self-respect) and not with what I can easily deceive myself into thinking I want (i.e., more recognition and personal popularity). And while I don't always have to say everything I believe, I do have to be very careful never to say anything I don't believe.

Some Very Available Road Signs

For moral values : They have been spelled out for you in the Ten Commandments and the Sermon on the Mount with its eight magnificent beatitudes. I don't think many of our readers will deny the validity of those two documents as roadmaps for a more fulfilling journey - not only through this life but far beyond to a much higher realm. If you do disagree with them, you are an unusual person.

Kreeft points out the simplicity and universal acceptance of the Sermon on the Mount when he says:

The greatest sermon ever preached takes only fifteen minutes to read and can be printed on a single page; yet it has changed the world more than any other speech ever made. Even Gandhi found nothing in his rich, six thousand-year-old Hindu tradition to equal it. Even atheists, agnostics, and humanists testify to its greatness. The whole world stares in ecumenical orgy of agreement at it; yet the whole world fails to follow it, exactly as the man in Jesus' parable at the end of the sermon (Matt. 7:24-27) who built his house on the sand of hearing instead of on the rock of heeding.2

Are we mapping our lives and energy-consuming vocational pursuits on the drifting sands of transient and cyclical contemporary fads? Or are we using the solid life anchors provided by this great sermon, by the commandments, and by the great spiritual writers of Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism and other major religious traditions? Are we deafened by the noise of the media, or by organization and peer pressure? Or are we listening to centuries of eastern and western spiritual giants who have provided us with the time-tested, enduring, very public principles and values we've always had available to us as road signs for plotting and pursuing more fulfilling journeys?

Most of us are doing a little of each. The trick is to keep moving relentlessly towards firmer ground. It isn't easy, but it brings the only true satisfaction and the stakes are high. The real graduation prize, the only satisfying destination is not a short, if physically comfortable, retirement in the sun, not fifteen minutes of fame, but an eternity of much more fulfilling light in an infinitely higher realm. 

What is a practical person to do? A practical person will pay attention and make the effort to keep his or her value choices on track. One individual I know, for instance, prioritized his values and concluded he was unhappily and excessively pursuing both wealth and personal recognition. He left a career that provided high visibility and material rewards for a less lucrative vocation that gave him more opportunity to pursue important social service, family and spiritual values he'd been neglecting. He never regretted the decision.

Many a time we all get lost in the self-generated fog of value confusion and indecision. We know it's only human. But we need to discover and understand that it isn't necessary.

There are people who discipline themselves to penetrate the fog. They make the tough decision to take off their blinders and see the markers. Then they work hard at clearing the air whenever new mists inevitably form. This gives them a noticeable serenity despite a chaotic and unpredictable environment. It provides them with a calming surety of direction when many around them are circling blindly in a foggy refusal to make value decisions, or in failing to act when they discover their values and day-to-day activities are in conflict.

We've said that many of the values we define in Figure 3 are not moral principles in themselves. However, there is a morality implicit in how and to what extent we pursue any given value on the list. There is a proper balance. We know that intuitively even when we don't allow this clear knowledge into our consciousness. Some values are definitely more important than others in light of our journey's ultimate destination. And an excessive pursuit of several can easily lead to an imbalance that we know, if we clear the fog, is not moral. Paraphrasing Kreeft we know, but we do not always heed. And we are geniuses at not noticing we are not heeding.

Kept in appropriate perspective, none of the values on the list is right or wrong in itself. However, pursued out of balance, many can become debilitating and road-fogging false gods.

We tend to think of false gods as antique and currently non-existent phenomena. No one has worshipped Zeus or a golden calf for millennia. In truth, however, we have not eliminated false gods; we have renamed them. If you don't know the names our values list can give you several clues.

Personal growth and satisfaction : If we track our progress and stay on course, our values will evolve and mature. We will grow and the growth will be satisfying. Being clear on our values can keep us anchored when the situation around us is falling apart. It can keep us in touch with our authentic selves, with who we are and, most important of all, with who we want to become in our ongoing development as both human and spiritual beings

Source: http://www.yoursoulatwork.com/values.htm