Which side are you on? 

Which side are you on? - tells us the story of the classic union song that was written in 1931 by Florence Reece. It has been sung by people fighting for their rights all over the world. Florence's husband Sam was a coal miner in Kentucky. Many of the coal mines were owned by big companies, who kept wages low and spent as little money on safety as possible. 

Today, we have similar challenges and a person has to decide on which side he has to be on? One has to determine one’s True Life Values

Before making career and life planning decisions it's important to do some homework and define your own very personal criteria for success. These criteria should be clearly established in your mind and regularly updated based on changing circumstances and lessons learned over time. Otherwise having to make a quick decision on an unexpected promotion, downsizing, career or location change opportunity might send you off in directions you really don't want to go. There are two types of criteria you need to determine for yourself.

The first are personal life value priorities - Determining your most important current values (e.g., money, location, service to others, time with family), rank-ordering them and deciding which you will trade off if faced with a contradiction (e.g., the job you want not being available in the location you want). As we said earlier, many people keep themselves in a state of continual agitation by refusing to make focused value decisions.

The second are personal job-content objectives - Identifying what specific combination of skills or competencies (e.g., intellectual, technical, interpersonal, physical, artistic, mathematical, etc.) you want to develop and exercise in your future on-the-job activities. These objectives become your criteria for judging the content of potential future jobs. If a potential opening involves doing a lot of financial or technical analysis by yourself with no opportunity for interacting with others - and interacting with others is important to you - you will avoid that job even if it is a promotion. You can't assess potential future career paths effectively until you have some standard or criteria for judging whether or not what you find is for you.

The following article will provide an outline about an organized process with proven instruments and tools to help you establish both these sets of criteria. First we'll discuss life values.

Life Values : It's important to know what personal values we want to achieve in life, on and off the job. Then we can make career choices that help us meet the most possible of these values. Making an initial list of our values is usually the easy part. Most of us can come up with a long list. The real challenge - the tough part of determining values - comes in the choices we have to make in setting our priorities, in deciding which values we will give up or trade off when we face inevitable contradictions.

I don't know about you, but I want everything. I don't want any contradictions or forced choices. I want the freedom and flexibility of a single life and all the rewards of a loving spouse and children. I want to live in a small, intimate, low pressure, academic town and have all the challenges, money, and status of a job that may only be available in places like New York or Chicago. I want Santa Claus to come along and let me have it all. And I don't think I'm unusual in this. I think most people, reasonable or not, want just about everything.

If I let myself think about it, however - if I face the unpleasant reality that there are contradictions and I can't have everything - I'll probably discover I do have some preferences. Each of us wants some things more than others. Precisely what we want and in what rank order is distinctively different for each individual. Accepting someone else's -- organization's, peer's, or teacher's -- rank order is not a very adult decision. Accepting someone else's rank order for me is laziness, unwillingness to do my own tough thinking, or excessively conforming behavior.

If I wait for Santa Claus to give me everything, Santa will not come. Someone or something else (e.g. an unexpected opportunity for a location move) will make the trade-offs for me. Both are really non-decision options, and both are dangerous. Letting chance or someone else make the trade-offs for me will rob me of many things I want most and substitute things I don't want nearly as much.

Deciding Our Own Values: We help people start identifying their most important personal values by asking them to prioritize 20 typical career-related life values. We do this by giving them a set of 20 cards each of which defines one of the values. Then we have them practice identifying contradictions and making trade-offs by giving up the cards two at a time until they get down to the top five they would be least willing to trade off. Most find this a tough but enlightening process. Of course, most will achieve more than five of the values, but forcing themselves to focus down on only five introduces a valuable discipline.

The process of looking carefully at your life values and establishing clear priorities may force you to make some conscious tradeoffs you've been avoiding, particularly when you compare what your top value priorities are with the values you are actually spending most of your time pursuing today.

Figure 3 shows 20 typical life values people want to pursue. Some will realize more than others. It's unlikely anyone will realize them all, however, because several are likely to contradict each other. This is not because the establishment or system is plotting mean things. This is simply because that's the way the world is. You can complain that this is not fair, get angry, and refuse to accept the fact that you have to trade off anything. It's easier and much more productive to become your own Santa Claus by making choices, ending the impasse and moving on.

Figure 3. TYPICAL CAREER-RELATED LIFE VALUES

Friendship To work with people I respect and to be respected by them

Location To be able to live where I want to live.

Enjoyment To enjoy my work. To have fun doing it.

Loyalty To be committed to the goals of a group of people who share my beliefs, values and ethical principles.

Family To have time with my family.

Leadership To motivate and energize other people. To feel responsible for identifying and accomplishing needed group tasks.

Personal Development To learn and to do challenging work that will help me grow, that will allow me to utilize my best talents and mature as a human being.

Security To have a steady income that fully meets my family's basic needs.

Wisdom To grow in understanding of myself, my personal calling and life's real purpose. To grow in knowledge and practice my religious beliefs. To discern and do the will of God and find lasting meaning in what I do.

Community To be deeply involved with a group that has a larger purpose beyond one's self. To perform in effective and caring teamwork.

Wealth To earn a great deal of money (i.e., well beyond my family's basic needs). To be financially independent.

Expertness To become a known and respected authority in what I do.

Service To contribute to the well being and satisfaction of others. To help people who need help and improve society.

Personal Accomplishment To achieve significant goals. To be involved in undertakings I believe personally are significant - whether or not they bring me recognition from others.

Prestige To be seen by others as successful. To become well known. To obtain recognition and status in my chosen field.

Power To have the authority to approve or disapprove proposed courses of action. To make assignments and control allocation of people and resources.

Independence To have freedom of thought and action. To be able to act in terms of my own time schedules and priorities.

Integrity To live and work in compliance with my personal moral standards. To be honest and acknowledge/stand up for my personal beliefs.

Health To be physically and mentally fit.

Creativity To be innovative. To create new and better ways of doing things.

?? Add value definitions of your choice

 

Parents, Mentors, Organizations, and Others

When people prioritize their life values we suggest they sort out any voices they might carry in their heads from other people telling them what they should value. There are four categories of voices each of us should particularly monitor. These are the voices of our parents, mentors, organizations, and others.

Many values come from our parents. Most are probably very worthwhile. We share and want to retain them. It's important to look at values transmitted from our parents. However, we must make certain we are not unduly influenced by those we may not share. We might be putting an inflated emphasis on wealth as the answer to all our problems, for instance, if our parents faced economic deprivations we don't face, and more money had an urgency for them it needn't have for us (or if our parents were very wealthy and prized that). Wanting something different from our parents doesn't mean they were wrong. It just means we're different and probably living in different circumstances.

Most professionals have one or more significant mentors during their 20's and 30's. Mentors are usually people 8 to 15 years older than we are - teachers, bosses, or experienced co-workers who take us under their wings and teach us the tricks of the trade in our occupational specialties. They help us establish ourselves as members of our trades or professions. A mentor serves in a role similar to that of master in the old master-apprentice system.

To become masters themselves, however, apprentices must finally break from masters, become their own persons, and steer their own courses. This often happens when people are between the ages of 35-40 and realize they have been too subject to influence by those who have authority over them. They then stand on their mentor's shoulders, build in new directions from that firm foundation, and extend their capabilities beyond their mentor's.

Identify and think about your mentors. Sort out what they have said you should and should not value. Decide where you do and do not agree today. You may still be associated with a mentor or you may be carrying some strong value messages from mentors you haven't worked with for years. If so, assess them and pursue only those you still agree with.

Many companies are attempting to better align individual employee behavior with the organization's vision and mission. They often do this by communicating various organization values employees are expected to acknowledge and commit themselves to. This is basically a good trend. If you know what you organization's values are you can better understand what's expected of you. And you can better decide if your personal values are compatible. This doesn't have to be an all or nothing decision. It's better to look at each specific organizational value, articulated or implied, and decide whether or not it conflicts with what is important to you. You will probably find it's easy to agree with the majority (e.g., quality or customer service). There may be some, however, like "working whatever after hours or weekend time it takes to get the job done" in a significantly downsized and overloaded operation - or "always exceeding the previous quarter's sales figures" - that you need to put into better perspective or even resist.

Another potential contaminating influence on our choice of values can often be found in relationships with our 'others' - in our own competitive instincts and need to be one-up on our friends, siblings, or peers. Their values are probably and legitimately very different from mine. They may be paying a high price in some dimension (e.g., time with family) that is more important than power or money to me. Both of us may be sacrificing important values in a race neither even wants to be in. What a way to waste time and lose spirit.

Where does it end? It ends when I call a halt for me. The others must determine how it will end for them. Think about who your others are. What price might you be paying for the competition? Do you really want to race? If not, plan what you will do differently in the future to avoid these useless competitions.

Staying anchored in life values that bring personal meaning to you

If you don't know who you are you will probably become for other people (e.g., superiors, peers or society) what they need or want you to be. There will be no self. Doing what others expect (including suggested career or location moves) may bring high recognition and material rewards, but if there is no self in your decisions there will probably be little true meaning. You life will drift away from you unanchored and in directions you don't really want to go.

Even when we believe our life values reflect our own inner preferences it's important to test this assumption regularly. Life values are frequently influenced - often unconsciously - by our evolving life environments (e.g., faddish cultural, peer or organizational norms). It's important to identify these influences periodically, make certain they are conscious and test how they are supporting or impairing pursuit of our important life and spiritual goals.

We need to know and stay anchored in who we are, in what we personally value and stand for. Our actions probably won't always reflect our deepest beliefs. There will be gaps between our values and our behaviors. Filling those gaps is a constant struggle for everyone. If we don't notice the gaps - if we don't strive continually to fill the gaps by better matching our values and behaviors - chances are we will find sparse meaning in what we do no matter how great the external rewards.

Brief reflection : 

The following brief reflection will help you make a quick assessment of what your value priorities are today. Later, you can take a more in depth look when you do the exercises in the workbook. Before you do the meditation sit quietly a moment and get in touch with your own thought process. Monitor any voices you carry around in your head from other people (e.g., society, the media, peers, former teachers, your organization) telling you what it is popular to value. Put them aside and get in touch with what you want. Listen to your inner voice. Hear what it tells you about what values you really want and need to pursue if you are to put more meaning in your life and career for both yourself and your family. 

Brief Reflection

Look at the twenty Life Values in the table above. Then take an erasable pencil and make a few notes following the instructions below. Don't take a lot of time to do this. Just record what comes to your mind quickly. See what initial response comes to mind first. (You can do a much more thorough Life Values exercise later, when you complete the workbook.)

Bottom 3 : List your bottom 3 values (i.e., those you would be most willing to give up)

Top 3 : List your top 3 (i.e., those you would be least willing to give up)

Least Important Value : Review your bottom 3 values and circle the "B" after the single value you would be most willing to give up (i.e., the value that has the lowest priority for you personally)

Most Important Value : Review your top 3 values and circle the "T" after the single value you would be least willing to give up (i.e., the value that has top priority for you personally)

Compare your top values with those you spend most time pursuing today.

When you compare your value priorities with what values are actually taking your time these days, are there any discrepancies or gaps? You are very unusual, or untruthful, if you see no discrepancies. Are there a few imbalances that have, for all practical purposes, become unacknowledged false gods that are leading you off course? If so, what will you do about that?

It's up to each of us to make our own tough values choices. Recognizing this can be scary for even the bravest of us. But there is good news to go with that. We can empower ourselves and get back on course. The hardest part is tracking the many times we drift off course, admitting what's happening, and taking corrective action.

This article is not attempting to complete list of all values. You've probably already learned much of what you need to know about those from a long list of spiritual writers and leaders who are much wiser than we. What we show in Figure 3 is merely a list of fairly typical day-to-day value concerns (only some of which involve moral principles in themselves) that most of us need to track and assess continually throughout our life journeys.

Principle-based decisions vs. evasive value clarifications: When we prioritize our life values it is important, however, that we make what Stephen Covey and many of our modern behavioral experts call principle-based value decisions. That requires a lot more than the typically evasive value clarification exercises that are so popular in today's value avoiding society.

Unfortunately, many contemporary values clarification exercises tend to foster not tough decision making, but a currently popular form of easy-out escapism. They provide a way to pretend we are making meaningful choices while avoiding any hard decisions. They give us a tool to play what Peter Kreeft describes as "moral ping pong." He tells us that questions addressed by facilitators in many modern values clarification exercises are:

…never about the roots or grounds of values, about principles. Instead, they are about feelings and reasoning, calculations.

They never ask questions about virtues and vices, about character, but ask only about what you would do or rather what you would 'feel comfortable' doing.

The one moral absolute in (typical) values clarification is that there are no moral absolutes, and the only thing forbidden is for the facilitator to suggest that...there is objective truth in the realm of values, for that would mean some of the students are wrong, and that would be 'judgmental', the only sin. In fact the very procedure itself teaches a nearly irresistible lesson: values are all up for grabs, are matters of individual or social taste; no one has the right to teach another here; values are "my" values or "your" values", never simply true values; values, in short, are not facts but feelings.1

This approach to deciding and living our values is obviously ridiculous - at least when someone like Kreeft takes an objective look and tells it like it is in non-evasive language. If you are like me somewhere deep down you have always known it was ridiculous. But if you're like me you've also not always been as courageous as Kreeft in owing up to it - or expressing it.

While we do have to choose our own values, we shouldn't do that in a moral vacuum. Clearly there are some objective moral principles we have to consider. I don't believe values, especially moral and spiritual values, are all relative. But I haven't always been willing to be clear about - and consistently practice - what I really do believe. That kind of behavior might challenge people. In much of modern society it's not considered politically correct and I don't want to be unpopular. I want to be sophisticated, urbane, and well liked even by people I know are behaving in direct contradiction to what I believe - even when they are subtly pressuring me to behave the same way. What a way to waste a life! I don't have to get on a soapbox and convert the world. However, I do have to be certain I at least really know where I stand and that my behavior and language are always consistent with that.

If we have a difference in values, I have to make certain my behaviors are not slipping into compliance with my audience's rather than my own moral beliefs. I don't have to berate or lecture everyone I disagree with. That would often be a waste of time anyway. However, I do have to make certain that my actions (i.e., everything I do) are consistent with what I really want (i.e., personal morality, integrity and self-respect) and not with what I can easily deceive myself into thinking I want (i.e., more recognition and personal popularity). And while I don't always have to say everything I believe, I do have to be very careful never to say anything I don't believe.

Some Very Available Road Signs

For moral values : They have been spelled out for you in the Ten Commandments and the Sermon on the Mount with its eight magnificent beatitudes. I don't think many of our readers will deny the validity of those two documents as roadmaps for a more fulfilling journey - not only through this life but far beyond to a much higher realm. If you do disagree with them, you are an unusual person.

Kreeft points out the simplicity and universal acceptance of the Sermon on the Mount when he says:

The greatest sermon ever preached takes only fifteen minutes to read and can be printed on a single page; yet it has changed the world more than any other speech ever made. Even Gandhi found nothing in his rich, six thousand-year-old Hindu tradition to equal it. Even atheists, agnostics, and humanists testify to its greatness. The whole world stares in ecumenical orgy of agreement at it; yet the whole world fails to follow it, exactly as the man in Jesus' parable at the end of the sermon (Matt. 7:24-27) who built his house on the sand of hearing instead of on the rock of heeding.2

Are we mapping our lives and energy-consuming vocational pursuits on the drifting sands of transient and cyclical contemporary fads? Or are we using the solid life anchors provided by this great sermon, by the commandments, and by the great spiritual writers of Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism and other major religious traditions? Are we deafened by the noise of the media, or by organization and peer pressure? Or are we listening to centuries of eastern and western spiritual giants who have provided us with the time-tested, enduring, very public principles and values we've always had available to us as road signs for plotting and pursuing more fulfilling journeys?

Most of us are doing a little of each. The trick is to keep moving relentlessly towards firmer ground. It isn't easy, but it brings the only true satisfaction and the stakes are high. The real graduation prize, the only satisfying destination is not a short, if physically comfortable, retirement in the sun, not fifteen minutes of fame, but an eternity of much more fulfilling light in an infinitely higher realm. 

What is a practical person to do? A practical person will pay attention and make the effort to keep his or her value choices on track. One individual I know, for instance, prioritized his values and concluded he was unhappily and excessively pursuing both wealth and personal recognition. He left a career that provided high visibility and material rewards for a less lucrative vocation that gave him more opportunity to pursue important social service, family and spiritual values he'd been neglecting. He never regretted the decision.

Many a time we all get lost in the self-generated fog of value confusion and indecision. We know it's only human. But we need to discover and understand that it isn't necessary.

There are people who discipline themselves to penetrate the fog. They make the tough decision to take off their blinders and see the markers. Then they work hard at clearing the air whenever new mists inevitably form. This gives them a noticeable serenity despite a chaotic and unpredictable environment. It provides them with a calming surety of direction when many around them are circling blindly in a foggy refusal to make value decisions, or in failing to act when they discover their values and day-to-day activities are in conflict.

We've said that many of the values we define in Figure 3 are not moral principles in themselves. However, there is a morality implicit in how and to what extent we pursue any given value on the list. There is a proper balance. We know that intuitively even when we don't allow this clear knowledge into our consciousness. Some values are definitely more important than others in light of our journey's ultimate destination. And an excessive pursuit of several can easily lead to an imbalance that we know, if we clear the fog, is not moral. Paraphrasing Kreeft we know, but we do not always heed. And we are geniuses at not noticing we are not heeding.

Kept in appropriate perspective, none of the values on the list is right or wrong in itself. However, pursued out of balance, many can become debilitating and road-fogging false gods.

We tend to think of false gods as antique and currently non-existent phenomena. No one has worshipped Zeus or a golden calf for millennia. In truth, however, we have not eliminated false gods; we have renamed them. If you don't know the names our values list can give you several clues.

Personal growth and satisfaction : If we track our progress and stay on course, our values will evolve and mature. We will grow and the growth will be satisfying. Being clear on our values can keep us anchored when the situation around us is falling apart. It can keep us in touch with our authentic selves, with who we are and, most important of all, with who we want to become in our ongoing development as both human and spiritual beings

Source: http://www.yoursoulatwork.com/values.htm

Dahi handi - Important Lessons !

My friend who watched Dahi-Handi yesterday, shared the following key take away : 

1. Everyone cannot be on "TOP" 

2. As you "RISE" so does the risk rise too. 

3. Ground Level bears the MAXIMUM load. 

4.. PEOPLE MANAGEMENT & TRUST is very IMPORTANT to go UP the ladder. '

5. You may FALL, but no sooner you fall, gather YOURSELF & RISE again. 

6. Do NOT bother too much about the NOISE from OUTSIDE, FOCUS on your INSIDE . 

7. It gets quieter as you go upwards, there MAXIMUM NOISE down below. 

8. People who DO the LEAST MAKE the MAXIMUM noise.

Must read - Story on Sack of potatoes !

A high school teacher told her students to bring to school a clear plastic bag and a sack of potatoes. The students are asked to think of all the people who have wronged them, every person that they have judged, every person they could not accept. The names of these people were to be each written on a potato and put in the bag.

Most students had bags that were full and overflowing. They were instructed to carry the bag everywhere with them for one week – including taking into their bed at night. They were never to let the bag out of their sight.

By the end of the week, the students were sick to death of their bag of potatoes. It was annoying having to lug it everywhere. The potatoes started to fester and go mouldy and stinky. The bags were heavy and awkward, weighed the students down and made them miserable.  The teacher told the students the significance of carrying the potatoes. It was a way to understand the price we pay for holding onto our resentments.

 Fortunately, since the week was over, they were able to put the down their bag of potatoes and get rid of it. The lightness, relief and freedom at doing so was only a taste of what they could feel of letting go of the resentments that each potato represented.

The teacher asked: " I hope you all enjoyed the game. How did you feel while carrying the potatoes with you for one week?"  The children immediately let out their frustrations and started complaining bitterly of the trouble that they went through carrying the heavy and smelly potatoes wherever they went. Then the teacher told them the hidden meaning behind the game they played.

He said: "This is exactly the situation when you carry your hatred for somebody inside your heart. The stench of hatred will contaminate your heart and you will carry it with you wherever you go. If you cannot tolerate the smell of rotten potatoes for just one week, especially those of you who had plenty of potatoes to carry, can you imagine what is it like to have the stench of hatred in your heart for your lifetime?"

 The hassle of lugging the bag around with them made it clear what a weight they were carrying around spiritually and how  they had to pay attention to it all the time.  Naturally, the condition of the potatoes deteriorated to a nasty smelly slime.  This was a great metaphor for the price we pay for keeping our pain and heavy negativity!  Too often we think of forgiveness as a gift to the other person and clearly is for ourselves !   Forgiving someone can be one of the most exhilarating experiences of your life!

Take the example of the people in  a drug and alcohol treatment center.  One thing  found common in addicts and alcoholics, as with most of us, is that they carried with them the excess baggage of forgiveness.  It makes us sick to harbor anger and forgiveness for someone.  But, you say, they don’t deserve to be forgiven.  You aren’t forgiving them because they deserve it; you are forgiving them because you deserve it.  Forgiveness lets them live rent free in your head and heart, causing you great emotional harm and a huge load of bitterness.  Acknowledge the pain and the hurt they may have caused you, then let it all go.   All you have to be is willing to forgive; God does the rest.  They are no words to describe the joy that will come into your heart, but it is waiting right around the corner for you.

What do you think? Do you have some potatoes you could let go of? Are they festering? Getting stinky? Weighing you down? Making you miserable?

 Make this your day to forgive!

 Have a happy journey!

Change Your Thinking

```It will take just 37 seconds to read this and change your thinking..

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room.

One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs.

His bed was next to the room's only window.

The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.
The men talked for hours on end.

They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation..

Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and colour of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake.

Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every colour and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite details, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine this picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon, the man by the window described a parade passing by.

Although the other man could not hear the band - he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Days, weeks and months passed.

One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep.

She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside.
He strained to slowly turn to look out the window besides the bed.

It faced a blank wall.

The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.

The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.
She said, 'Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.'

Epilogue:

There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.

Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled.

If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy.

'Today is a gift, that is why it is called The Present .' 

I urge you to always share such info with people who need them!

No one can destroy IRON; but its own rust can.

No one can destroy IRON; but its own rust can. Likewise no one can destroy us; but our own mindset can. Our THOUGHTS can change our Life.

Importance of mindset
Why is it that some people seem to shine in any sphere in which they choose to exert themselves, and others cannot manage even a glimmer despite obvious talent?

Research shows that it is the way that they think about their ability that really counts.

Most of those who have achieved greatness, to use Shakespeare’s phrase, have worked extremely hard to get there. Many were told that they would never amount to anything. But they believed that they could achieve, and worked hard to do so.

Fixed or Growth Mindset?

There are two ways to view intelligence or ability:

Ability it is fixed or ingrained – in other words, we are born with a certain level of ability and we cannot change that. This is called a fixed mindset.

We can develop our ability through hard work and effort. This is called a growth mindset.

These two different beliefs lead to different behaviour, and also to different results. For example, students with a growth mindset were shown to increase their grades over time. Those who believed that their intelligence was ingrained did not; in fact, their grades got worse.

Having a growth mindset (the belief that you are in control of your own ability, and can learn and improve) is the key to success.

Yes, hard work, effort, and persistence are all important, but not as important as having that underlying belief that you are in control of your own destiny.

This is why you should never praise children (or people)  by talking about their ability, but instead describe the effort that they put in, and how much they have learned and developed their ability through the activity.
Don’t say: “Well done. You’re really good at maths (achieving sales targets).”

Do say: “That’s great. You tried really hard, and look how well you’ve done.”It is important to praise the process, not the talent or ability.

Mindset in Practice

People with these two mindsets actually think differently and also react to information differently.

In particular, they respond differently to information about performance.

In people with a fixed mindset, the brain is most active when they are being given information about how well they have done, for example, test results or grades.

In people with a growth mindset, the brain is most active when they are being told what they could do to improve.

It’s a very different approach: from ‘How did I do?’ to ‘What can I do better next time?’

One is about how they are perceived, and one is about how they can learn. You can see which one is likely to lead to better results in future.

Mindsets in action: The Tortoise and the Hare
Remember the story of the tortoise and the hare?
The hare was so certain that he would win that he sat down and went to sleep during the race. The tortoise just plodded on and kept going, always thinking that he had a chance of winning. When the hare woke, he started running as fast as he could, but he was just too late: the tortoise had won.




The hare had a fixed mindset. He believed that his innate ability would always mean that he would win whatever he did. The tortoise had a growth mindset. He believed that he needed to work hard and keep going if he was to win. He was also not afraid of failure or he would never have agreed to race the hare.

Dealing with Setbacks

These mindsets also cause people to deal with setbacks differently.

People with a fixed mindset are very discouraged by setbacks, because a setback dents their belief in their ability. They tend to become uninterested and give up.

People with a growth mindset view a setback as an opportunity to learn. They tend to try harder in an effort to overcome the problem.

“The moment that we believe that success is determined by an ingrained level of ability, we will be brittle in the face of adversity”

Josh Waitzkin - Chess Grandmaster and Martial Artist

HAVE FAITH IN GOD - WHATSOEVER IS GOING TO HAPPEN IS GOING TO BE GOOD

A man just got married and was returning home with his wife.

They were crossing a lake in a boat, when suddenly a great storm arose. The man was a warrior, but the woman became very much afraid because it seemed almost hopeless:

The boat was small and the storm was really huge, and any moment they were going to be drowned.
But the man sat silently, calm and quiet, as if nothing was happening.

The woman was trembling and she said, “Are you not afraid ?”. This may be our last moment of life! It doesn’t seem that we will be able to reach the other shore. Only some miracle can save us; otherwise death is certain.
Are you not afraid? Are you mad or something? Are you a stone or something?

The man laughed and took the sword out of its sheath. The woman was even more puzzled: What he was doing?

Then he brought the naked sword close to the woman’s neck, so close that just a small gap was there, it was almost touching her neck. He said,” Are you afraid ?”

She started to laugh and said,” Why should I be afraid ?,If the sword is in your hands, why I should be afraid? I know you love me.

” He put the sword back and said, This is my answer”. I know God Loves me, and the storm is in His hands

*SO WHATSOEVER IS GOING TO HAPPEN IS GOING TO BE GOOD.* If we survive, good; if we don’t survive, good ,because everything is in His hands and He cannot do anything wrong.

Moral: Develop Trust. This is the trust which one needs to imbibe. and which is capable of transforming your whole life. Any less won’t do!

"Believe that God is working in ur life even when u don't feel like that....sometimes He will use ur entire life time to prepare u for eternity...

When God wants to make a mushroom, He does it overnight... but to make a giant oak He takes100 years...
*Be patient with the process, because He knows ur worth....*

Remember how far u have COME, not just how far u have to GO.... God isn't finished with you yet, so keep moving forward. Even the snail reached Noah's ark by perseverance!"

Great leaders are trained in pits n prisons Not in playground or palaces!

GOD BLESS 🙌🏻*😊

Judge each day by, not by the harvest, but by the seeds you plant!

Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant. – Robert Louis Stevenson

What does that mean?

Here, the emphasis isn’t on enjoying collecting of the results at the end, but in the joy of getting things started. The form is agricultural, and notes that it takes time to reap. I would think this quote applies equally to children and to a business or charity startup as well.

I believe that the quote says that if you focus on planting, you will have a plentiful harvest. But if you focus on harvest, you might lose sight of how the harvest came about. The quote also infers that it will take time to reap your harvest. By focusing on the planting, you help to insure the harvest, even if you aren’t there to see it.

Why is patience important?  

If you’ve ever worked with kids or plants, you know that patience is a vital part of getting anything done. You can’t hurry plant growth, you can only nurture the plants, provide them with what they need, and wait. Kids aren’t that much different. You can explain a concept to them dozens of times, but until their brain is ready, it just won’t click.

With patience, you keep nurturing the plant until it is time for harvest. With kids, your ‘harvest’ is when they are ready to move on. For teachers, it might be when they leave the class, prepared for the next class in sequence. For parents, it might be when they move out, it might be when they start a family, but each stage of their life is a ‘harvest’ of sorts, and can take years (or more) of patience to realize.

Where can I apply this in my life?

Patience is a virtue. But like any virtue, you can have too much or too little of it. Too little is rash, too much is sloth. Here, with both plants and kids (as well as business, charity or a group/organization), patience is a long-term wait (months to years), but rarely is sloth involved. There are always things to do. There is always pruning, teaching, a thousand minor adjustments going on, as you work towards harvest.

We focused on planting seeds with our kids. Getting them interested in how things work, igniting the desire to find out more about the world they live in. Getting them started in reading and math was part of it. We found for them fun shows like Mythbusters and a number of Discovery & Science Channel shows to feed their brains.

Now, they are ahead of their peers, and the seeds we planted a decade ago are coming to harvest. However, like a farmer, a parent’s work is never done. While each year may bring a harvest, it also brings new season of planting.

For me, agriculture was never a strong suit. I’ve managed to kill several cacti and consider myself to have a “black thumb” (the anthesis of a “green thumb”). However, with my kids, I’ve done a bit better. With them, I started with a goal in mind.

For me, the goal was to get them to a point where they are thinking, functioning, and contributing members of society. I kept with a broad definition of success, so as to allow them as much latitude in finding their own way as possible.

So how do you stay patient? I do it by imagining where the seeds I plant will take them. Whether it’s nurturing a child, or sending a colleague to a seminar, think of what that seed will do for them. Enjoy the planting, and keep your patience by using your imagination.

To me, patience is a game within a game. How do you get patience? You have to practice patience. If you don’t have any, you will have to start somewhere. Choose something you can delay, even slightly.

Move your desert from immediately after dinner to a point later in the evening. Perhaps you can delay your desert until after you have spent some time doing something else. Read a chapter in a book, call a friend, play a game with the kids, watch a TV show, work on a project.

Another way is to find someone who is irritating and develop your patience by putting up with them for a while. Start with just saying “Hi!” and move on to going to lunch with them. While this does work on your patience, it also works on tolerance and compassion. Off topic, but still useful skills.

Understand that things won’t always go according to plan, so have patience. Also remember your patience when others fail. Understand no one is perfect and use their imperfections to help build your patience. Don’t fret, instead, wait patiently (don’t be antsy, be calm). Slow down, don’t rush. What other things can you think of to do that works in your life?

I’m sure with this as a starting point, you can build your patience as far as you are willing to push. Like any other behavior, patience is a skill of repetition. It won’t always be easy, but it should be fun.

Patience in waiting for the harvest is useful, but don’t forget to enjoy the planting of the seeds. That is where it all begins, isn’t it?

The challenge is to silence the mind…

Once there was a farmer who discovered that he had lost his watch in the farm. It was not an ordinary watch because it had sentimental value for him.

After searching the hay for a long while, he gave up and call the help of a group of children playing outside the barn.
He promised them that, the person who found it, would be rewarded.

Hearing this, the children hurried inside the barn, went through and around the hay but still could not find the watch. Just when the farmer was about to give up
looking for his watch, a little boy went up to him and asked to be given another chance.The farmer looked at him and thought, “Why not.? After all, this kid looks
sincere enough.”
So the farmer sent the little boy back in the barn. After a while the little boy came out with the watch in his hand.

The farmer was happy and surprised and so he asked the boy how he succeeded where the rest had failed. The boy replied, “I did nothing but sit on the ground and listen. In the silence, I heard the ticking of the watch and just looked for it in that direction.”

MESSAGE : A Peaceful mind can think better than a Worked up mind. *Allow a few minutes of Silence to your mind every day,* and see, how sharply it helps u to set your life the way you expect it to be.

MORAL : The soul always knows what to do to heal itself...

*The challenge is to silence the mind…during chanting and give it the service to focus on the listening to the Holy Name* - putting all other thoughts to silence. Full attention to the Almighty on hearing His names.

The Long and Winding Road to Success

The Long and Winding Road to Success

A man walking down a narrow, twisting road spotted a guru meditating on the grass.

“Excuse me, master,” he called. “Is this the road to success?”

The old man nodded silently and pointed a finger in the direction the traveler was headed. He thanked the guru and hurried on his way. An hour later the man returned, bleeding and exhausted.

“Hey!” he shouted to the guru. “You told me that was the road to success! I walked that way, and right away I fell into a ditch so deep it took me almost an hour to climb out! What’s the matter with you?”

The guru stared at him, and then after 10 long seconds opened his lips to speak: “That is indeed the road to success. It lies just beyond the ditch.”

The road to success is not without potholes. That’s the problem with many. Many quit before they find success. They let challenges beat them rather than rising to the occasion. They see only the difficulties in front of them but not the opportunities that can grow from them.

When Dale Carnegie was asked on a radio program to tell in three sentences the most important lesson he had ever learned, he said: “The biggest lesson I have ever learned is the stupendous importance of what we think. If I knew what you think, I would know what you are, for your thoughts make you what you are. By changing our thoughts, we change our lives.”

In other words, the will to succeed very often determines our success.

Being good at your job is only part of the recipe for success at work. You must also incorporate these key ingredients:

Positive Attitude

Integrity

Willingness to Try

Co-operation

Moral: Success is sweet, but its secret is sweat.

A real life story for you:

Wolfgang Puck's Long, Winding Road To Success  And What You Can Learn From It

''Restaurants,'' says Wolfgang Puck, ''are like children. You feel you always have to be there.''

Puck's labor has borne an empire of 11 elite restaurants, starting with the ground-breaking Spago in Hollywood 18 years ago. Besides his top-flight places, he owns 16 pizza cafes, a chain of ''express'' eateries, a frozen food line, has written four cookbooks and appears regularly on ''Good Morning America.''

His huge success is a tribute to his culinary genius -- he was among the first to champion fresh, local ingredients in restaurant cooking -- and years of hard work with his wife and business partner, Barbara Lazaroff.

But, like parenting, the restaurant business is unpredictable and fraught with mishap. Puck and Lazaroff good-naturedly shared their story, with its ups and downs, with a crowd at the Garden Education Center of Greenwich, Conn., last week during a visit to promote his new book, ''Wolfgang Puck's Pizza, Pasta, and More!'' (Random House, $35).

The Austrian-born chef apprenticed at several restaurants in France before coming to America in the late 1970s. ''I didn't like New York,'' he says in his thick German accent. ''It was dirty, with the smoke coming out everywhere.'' So when he got a job offer in Indianapolis, he was excited. ''I worked in Monte Carlo, with the auto racing. So I thought with the auto racing, Indianapolis must be like Monte Carlo. The restaurant owner told me they had Limoges china, so I thought it must be a wonderful city.''

After a two-day trip via Greyhound bus, he arrived in Indianapolis and was introduced to the Midwestern palate. ''I cooked more steaks well done there. Once, I tried to cook breakfast. I know how to make scrambled eggs, cooking them gently so they are soft and runny. The waiters were looking at the plates saying 'What the hell is that?' but I couldn't understand them. Finally a waitress took all the plates and put the eggs in a pot and cooked them into cement.''

The only good thing about Indianapolis, Puck says, is that when he went to the INS office for his green card, he was the only person there. ''No one in their right mind would emigrate to Indianapolis.''

Next he moved to Los Angeles, where he worked at the fledgling Ma Maison (''my first paycheck bounced''), now an institution, and lived in a retirement home because it was cheap and near the restaurant. Then he met Lazaroff. ''I wasn't too good at the financials, and I left a paycheck lying around and she said, 'Is this what you make in a week?' and I say, 'No, that's what I make in two weeks.'''

She made him ask for a raise, but by then he had a vision for his own restaurant: ''I wanted it to be cheap and Italian and we'd call it Vesuvius and have lava rocks.''

Lazaroff shuddered. Puck went off on a tour to promote his first cookbook and she got to work designing a new restaurant on Sunset Boulevard.

The result was Spago, which opened in 1982, one of the first restaurants with an open kitchen and at the forefront of the ''California cuisine'' trend.

It was an immediate hit, and nearly became the victim of its own success, as customers waited hours for tables, Puck remembers. ''Dynasty'' star Linda Evans became impatient one night. ''I saw her walking up to the kitchen asking, 'Where is my table?' and I thought, 'I know this beautiful woman from somewhere.'''

Next, the couple opened Chinois on Main, in Santa Monica, Calif., because Puck had always wanted to experiment with Asian cuisine. And it was an experiment; he had never been to Asia. But he was fearless. ''I heard they used a lot of ginger, garlic and scallions, so I used a lot of ginger, garlic and scallions.'' He pioneered the ''Asian fusion'' cooking so common now.

Puck and Lazaroff next tackled San Francisco, with trepidation. ''In San Francisco, they are such snobs. They think they know everything better about food.''

They couldn't find a name for their new Italian place, so they held a contest, promising dinner for life for the winner. They got 5,000 entries and selected the name Postrio, submitted by an 80-year-old man. ''He said, 'Just send me a couple of pizzas and I'll be happy.'''

By now, Puck and Lazaroff seemed to have hit upon a magic formula: his culinary genius and her design and business acumen. But even this star couple couldn't overcome a poor restaurant situation. Their next venture was in Malibu, Calif., where they opened Granita. The place is hopping in the summer but with little offseason business, they must spend hundreds of thousands of dollars to maintain it in severe weather and keep the staff over the winter.

In need of cash to do that, Puck found himself drawn reluctantly by a businessman friend to another city -- Las Vegas. ''I said I would never go to Vegas. It's so gaudy. But he talked so strong and he gave me a big check.'' So the newest branch of Spago opened in Las Vegas in December 1992.

''I had no idea December was the slowest month. The only people there were a rodeo convention, all dressed like cowboys. They thought the open kitchen at Spago was a buffet line -- 'Do you have any hamburgers?'

''My mother couldn't have written a better review in the local paper. Eight tables were booked. I had to get drunk every night to go to sleep. I knew it was a mistake!''

But right after Christmas, ''it took off like an airplane.''

He now has five restaurants in Las Vegas.

Puck has earned celebrity status with his fabulous food and charming personality, but the price is high. ''People expect to see you at the restaurant. They get upset if you're not there.''

His gourmet pizzas are part of his frozen food line, which was inspired by talk-show host Johnny Carson, who would order several pizzas every Thursday. Once Puck asked him why. ''He said, 'I put them in the freezer and eat them over the weekend. They're better that way.''

''It's funny how you get into a business.''